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Secrets
One hundred secrets
Only a few revealed to you
One hundred secrets
They plague your mind too
One hundred secrets
They fill my brain
One hundred secrets
Making me feel insane
One hundred secrets
Only a few revealed to you
I’m alone.
Nobody seems to care about me
About my feelings
About my wants and needs
But as I look around
I see people
People in love
People with happy families
I become envious - why can’t i have that
A secret told is no longer a secret
One secret dead
Ninety-nine secrets living
Breathing
Growing
I'm abused
That’s a pretty straight forward secret isn't it?
What else do you want to know?
I go back into the world like nothing happened
Hiding the pain
Hiding the tears
No one notices the new marks on my heart, my mind, my soul
If there ever did there was a line
“It’s just drama”
Of course they believed me
I counted on it
But now you know the truth
One more secret dead
Ninety - eight left
The
The horrible wretched thoughts
“Kill yourself.” They whisper
“You don’t deserve to live.”
I do my best to push them away
It doesn’t feel good to hear these things.
But...maybe they’re right?
Three secrets dead.
Ninety-seven secrets left
Now of course I’m not going to tell you all of them
But I’ll tell you two more
Just two more deadly secrets
I wish I was skinny
If only i looked like her
Throwing up once is sinning
Binging twice can ruin all the effort
You tell me I’m beautiful
I don’t believe you
The vicious cycle will continue
Another secret gone
One less secret to tell you
Scars litter my body
Thoughts linger and haunt me
Where can I find my release?
My skin has suffered much
Pain caused by a touch
When does it ever end?
Does it ever end?
How many more secrets will be left unsaid.
About the author: Samantha has been writing for four years unprofessionally and would like to use her poetry and stories to bring awareness and healing to others. Her poetry is very raw, but she does so to bring to light the realization they're not alone.