Not Scared

May 27, 2017

 

 

I'm not scared

Of dying

Even tried it

Once or twice

 

I'm not bothered

by snakes

I like the way

They wrap like

Living nooses

 

Sometimes I

Like the dark

More than the

Light

When you can't see

It's brimming with

Possibilities

 

I love heights

And standing on

Tiny edges

Inches from falling

 

Closed spaces

Don't make me

Feel suffocated

Or small but make

Me feel giant for

Once, breathing in

All the air.

 

Ghosts don't freak me out

I'd fuck with demons

If the danger sounded fun

 

I relish nightmares

And the adrenaline rush

that makes me feel alive

 

I like to walk along

Railroad tracks at night

In the yellow hue

Of street lamps

 

Spiders don't keep me

Up at night

But I still don't sleep

 

My biggest fear

Is waking up

When I'm thirty

In a house in

The suburbs

With dinner burning

On the stove

 

My biggest fear

Is that I'll roll over

With a ring on my finger

And stare at someone

Who regrets placing it there

 

My biggest fear

Is that the most

Of the world I'll see

Is the east coast

 

My biggest fear

Is the job I get

Will be in an

Office chained

To a desk

From 9 to 5

While I wish I

Wasn't alive

 

I'm scared

Of people

Knowing I give a fuck

About things that

I pretend not to

Give a fuck about

 

I'm scared

Of guys

With hands that

Move faster

When

Unwelcomed

I'm pissed that

They scare me

To the point

Where I

Dare them to try

With pointed fingers

That I can't help from shaking

 

I'm scared

Of being too scared

To do anything

Worth doing

 

I'm scared

Right now

Of hearing

Him say

He doesn't want me

 

I'm scared

Of being boring

Of my life revolving

Around soccer practices

And taxes

 

I'm scared one day

That music

Won't sound the same

That the pills will stop

And the darkness will come back

 

I'm not scared

of dying

Even tried it

Once or twice

I'm scared

That I'll die

Without ever

Really living

 

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