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Hear Me God


Instead the year begins

on my knees again.

Breaking the oath

I made to never pray

again

The pleas slipped

out of my chapped

lips begging God

or Jesus or Mary

for an end

I wrapped my rosaries

around my lighter to

see the contradiction

My bible lays in

a trash pile

a modern crucifixion

Hey God can you

hear me? My throat

is raw from screaming

For four years I

prayed fourteen

times a day yet

your ears were deaf

I looked for you

amongst the tissues

my mother used

I looked for you

in the hospital

where they tied

my brother down

I looked for you

at the bottom

of the pill bottle

labeled NOT FOR

CHILDREN

do you think 13 is a child?

I read an article

about a girl in

Taiwan

who was raped

by her father

and his friends

they filmed it

Have you seen the video?

I heard about

a boy from my town

who shot himself

Could you taste the blood?

What act of contrition

do we owe you

for being alive?

God, hear me, please,

Slit my throat with

the promise that

when I die I’ll stay

dead.