Numbers

June 6, 2017

1 in 5

Yet by the time we're eighteen

Four of my friends have bright red Xs

Between their thighs

I was almost number five

Five

the same amount

Of drinks I had that night

When he tried to bring me into the bathroom

And I couldn't find the words

Because the alcohol flowed easier than they did

And all I could think was

That statistic isn't right.

 

Fourteen

The amount of times

They made us pray a day.

Subtract the amount I did willingly

And you get the number

That were answered.

 

Three

The number of times

My little brother

Tried to end his life

Two

The number of years

He spent

In a hospital

One

The amount of attempts

I made, I wonder

If that's what inspired him

 

 

250

The score I received

On my math SAT

Printed beneath it said

Statistically below average

I cut this out and hung

It on our fridge

A badge of pride that I

Wouldn't be average

 

 

 

Two

People in a relationship

Or at least that's what

I counted

He counted three

It wasn't that serious

Wasn't anything really

But the words don't

Comfort me

 

 

 

Five

The number of concerts

Where I held my sisters hand

And screamed because

The music was love that

Couldn't cheat or break on us

Thirteen

The average number of songs

In a set list

Multiply it by a thousand

And you get the amount of

Time I wish it would last

 

 

 

600

The amount of money

I made from selling my American girl dolls

9

The age I was

When I used the profits to buy an iPod

20

The amount of hours my older brother

Spent showing me his music library

Telling me I bought something better

Than the Bible

 

 

10

Divided by three

Multiplied by seven

Squared and derived

You get a number that

I don't know

Just like how

I don't know how many

Bottles she went through

 

3

The amount of times

I rolled my skirt

23

The amount of detentions

I received senior year

203

The amount of times

My teachers told me

There was time to save my soul

 

4

The number of teachers

Who told me to be more ladylike

1

Finger that I stuck up

That wasn't very ladylike

 

200

The number of countries

I want to travel to

2 million

The amount of songs

I want to hear

2 billion

The number of times

I want to take a breath

And just be happy to be alive

 

 

 

Seventeen

The age I got my license

Multiply it by 100

And you get the amount of

Drives I went on

So I could feel the wind rushing

Past me

45

The speed limit I ignore

40

The maximum my speakers

Can reach before they blow

And all I can hear is the music

And all I can see are green lights

And all I can feel is free

 

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