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Yet by the time we're eighteen

Four of my friends have bright red Xs

Between their thighs

I was almost number five


the same amount

Of drinks I had that night

When he tried to bring me into the bathroom

And I couldn't find the words

Because the alcohol flowed easier than they did

And all I could think was

That statistic isn't right.


The amount of times

They made us pray a day.

Subtract the amount I did willingly

And you get the number

That were answered.


The number of times

My little brother

Tried to end his life


The number of years

He spent

In a hospital


The amount of attempts

I made, I wonder

If that's what inspired him


The score I received

On my math SAT

Printed beneath it said

Statistically below average

I cut this out and hung

It on our fridge

A badge of pride that I

Wouldn't be average


People in a relationship

Or at least that's what

I counted

He counted three

It wasn't that serious

Wasn't anything really

But the words don't

Comfort me


The number of concerts

Where I held my sisters hand

And screamed because

The music was love that

Couldn't cheat or break on us


The average number of songs

In a set list

Multiply it by a thousand

And you get the amount of

Time I wish it would last


The amount of money

I made from selling my American girl dolls


The age I was

When I used the profits to buy an iPod


The amount of hours my older brother

Spent showing me his music library

Telling me I bought something better

Than the Bible


Divided by three

Multiplied by seven

Squared and derived

You get a number that

I don't know

Just like how

I don't know how many

Bottles she went through


The amount of times

I rolled my skirt


The amount of detentions

I received senior year


The amount of times

My teachers told me

There was time to save my soul


The number of teachers

Who told me to be more ladylike


Finger that I stuck up

That wasn't very ladylike


The number of countries

I want to travel to

2 million

The amount of songs

I want to hear

2 billion

The number of times

I want to take a breath

And just be happy to be alive


The age I got my license

Multiply it by 100

And you get the amount of

Drives I went on

So I could feel the wind rushing

Past me


The speed limit I ignore


The maximum my speakers

Can reach before they blow

And all I can hear is the music

And all I can see are green lights

And all I can feel is free


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