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Following My Head, Not My Heart

July 6, 2017

 

I have a lot on my mind. Most of the time my thoughts don't even make sense.  I guess you can call me imaginative, but sometimes I wish my creative and impulsive thoughts weren't interfering with my life choices.  You see, the problem is is that I can't stick to one thing. It doesn't matter what it is. One day I could be wandering around the city alone without having anything to do and the next day I could be reading a book in bed. Some days I read a chapter in a book and then close it because I'm thinking about what I'm going to eat for breakfast in the morning. Those are little things, but there are moments where I think about how this might effect my future. I have interests -- many of them. I don't think I can ever settle. I blame my hyperactive mind. I already feel as though I want to spend my life doing multiple things before I'm buried in the ground. It might be because I tend to get bored easily and that's what scares me the most. I've slowly started to notice things in my life changing because what I chose to do based on logic instead of feelings.

 

I know it's common for people to say "follow your heart" and for me that just doesn't work.

 

When it comes to relationships, I find myself making decisions based on right vs. wrong and basic critical thinking. I feel as though the best choice is to think out situations and then take action instead of choosing something solely off of emotion. It's probably because I'm scared to get hurt. Time and time again I see girls brokenhearted because they gave their all in a relationship and eventually end up hurt. There are times where I wish I strived in the area of "strong heart felt emotions". 

 

I want to be able to do something because I want to. There something exciting when you make a choice from being impulsive. I hear stories about the adrenaline of doing something without having any boundaries stopping you. The people who go on these crazy adventures because they follow the "you only live once" lifestyle. I want to be like those people. I want to be able to do things without having to think about what comes after and the consequences of doing so. I will admit, I've had small impulsive moments in my life, but I still crave something bigger and wilder. Slowly, I'm trying to follow this rule. Yes, there will be moments where I need to be able to sit down and think about certain things, but those small little moments when you're friend wants to do something crazy...go for it. I think, as you get older, you're going to want to remember those small moments. If my heart gets broken, then let it. I have to find the importance in how emotions play a role in my life because if I don't I believe that my life would be filled with dull moments and not the small ones.

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